Let the story begin:
....So, sometime in late October, or early November, I was surfing the internet, when I stumbled across a brilliant idea.
Someone on Reddit suggested the idea of a world wide secret santa gift exchange.
What a brilliant idea!!! I checked my bank account and verified that I had the available funds to donate a gift to a fellow redditor, as well as my standard $537,412 donation to "The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement"
Not long after I signed up, I received my certification email. I was the proud new owner of a reddit gift exchange partner. Giggity giggity, huhn, allllright.
As I am unemployed, I had all the time in the world to research the person I was buying gifts for. Unfortunately, I found them to be more of a Reddit Lurker....so I had little knowledge as to what kind of person that I was buying a gift for. Nevertheless, I donned my gloves
And went out into the cold Portland air.... I knew that I would survive the walk to the store, because my heart would be filled with the warmth of sharing and caring.
Along the way, I passed houses adorned with lights, and passed seasonal decorations. I was overcome with the passion of the Christmas Spirit, I triumphantly whistled the tune to "All I want for Christmas" as I kicked the dead leaves on the dirty ground.
When I reached the store, I was at a loss for direction. What should I buy my giftee? I knew my giftee was a female, so I turned towards the pink section of the store.
But, I was overcome by that inner voice, the one that had grown in my head ever since I took Women's Studies 101 at the university, urging me to think outside the confines of my patriarchal upbringing. No Pink.
I then turned to Edward, of Twilight Fame. Who wouldn't swoon over his sparkly charm? But then I realized Twilight sucks.
So, I naturally resorted to the age old standby perfect gift for all seasons.
Bacon!
Wait...no reddit memes allowed. I strolled around the store and found something that would work. Who doesn't enjoy drinking and gambling? But, I realized that at home I had no wrapping paper.
I walked down the wrapping paper aisles....
.....and picked a simple paper that had the dual benefit of not being a "strictly-christmas" wrapping paper.
At home, I proudly showed off my gift...
Yes, my friend, that is a drinking roulette table...
The next morning, I began the wrapping process...
....tape the end down, to allow a tight form fitting wrap.
.....Fold the edges to generate clean lines
....Fold the corners down, trim excess paper, and fold the edge again for "clean presentation."
....Adorn your gift with a pretty ribbon.
Caution: Do not use around animals or small children, product can cause suffocation.
...Et Voila!
Attach a card
....wrap in packaging paper, and head to the post office.
Now came the long wait.
I was still in Portland, but I knew that I was going to be heading to my parents place for the holidays, so I asked my secret santa to mail the present there.
Here I am, excitedly receiving my gift.
It was a cardboard box!!!! How exciting. I remember playing with cardboard boxes as a child, but I had no idea it would be so exciting and nostalgic to receive a cardboard box. I sat at the table with the box, discussing all the things we could do together, while it idly sat by, sipping on his coffee (though it prefers Tea), and eating its buttered toast.
After breakfast, the box and I played a couple hands of cribbage.
The box told me that it wanted to go for a drive.... So I took it out to the car, so that it could see the San Juan Islands. Unfortunately, the box had trouble seeing over the steering wheel.
So I positioned myself in the drivers seat, and the box sat over on the passenger's side of it's best friends ride.
Later on, while doing some last minute Christmas shopping, the box was feeling charitable. It donated some money to the man ringing the bell outside the store.
Box and I went home and worked on a puzzle....a family tradition over the holidays. It was already starting to feel at home with me.
When our brains tired of doing the puzzle, we played some chess....
....and checkers
That afternoon....the box was taking a nap.
....when I had a brilliant idea
First... I got a box.... and then I cut a hole in the box....
Suddenly, while looking into the hole in the box....I realized there was something inside the box.My gift wasn't just the box!!!! My gift was six specialty teas from Adagio Teas !!!!
I love tea!!!
Whoever was my secret santa, thanks for the tea. I will enjoy drinking tea on my porch whilst taking in the ocean air.
Thanks reddit for having such a fun christmas time activity. I hope to do it again next year.
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Feel free to comment this post, as I am still trying to figure out all the details to blogspot.
