Dream - August 19th, 2008

I woke up this morning to my roommate screaming get out of the apartment now.

For some ungodly reason, he decided to follow a recipe in a Jules Verne book and make some Nitro-Glycerin.

I don’t know where exactly in the process he was, but apparently he thought our apartment, and probably most of Lloyd District was gonna blow up.

It didn’t.

…..

So on my way out, I grabbed my bike.

As I was calmly biking to work, two large Italian men ran past me. I stopped to see what all the commotion was. A third man crashed into me (knocking me and my bike down). Quickly he got up and ran after them firing random shots in their general vicinity. Just as I was beginning to compose myself, an officer of the law, demanded to commandeer my bike. And for some ungodly reason, I decided to say, “Roger that”

Apparently “Roger that” must be police code or something, because he immediately assumed that I was an undercover agent, because he hopped on the handlebars and said, “You drive, I’ll shoot.”

So I shift into low-gear and start peddling (probably to my own demise) in the general direction of two fat Italians, and one scrawny looking one that would make Woody Allen look like some Actor-turned-Californian Governor.

I peddled fiercely as he fired round after round and a seemingly random pattern.

My ear drums were pounding from the echoes of the shots bouncing of the building walls.

It was crazy, I mean small children WITH BALLOONS were running for cover.

As we gained on them the officer jumped the scrawny one and told me to keep going and get the other two.

So what did I do?….well naturally, I took a turn onto Taylor street, as I was running a little late for work.

Hopefully the cop isn’t upset with me.

Photoblog: ODS - Remember to Punish and Enslave!

TO A PERSON UNINSTRUCTED IN NATURAL HISTORY, HIS COUNTY, OR SEASIDE STROLL IS A WALK THROUGH A GALLERY FILLED WITH WONDERFUL WORKS OF ART, NINE-TENTHS OF WHICH HAVE THEIR FACES TURNED TO THE WALL.


--Thomas Huxley




"When you come back, they'll say welcome home"


--Tsuga








I recently returned to that home of mine called Outdoor School. I have spent a good many hours explaining to people what it is that makes it special to me, special to the Student Leaders, and special to the sixth graders. To continue to try and explain it is a fruitless venture.


And looking at pictures is never going to capture what exactly outdoor school is to the outsider. But I still will put forth a little effort for your enjoyment.


This time around I volunteered a week to act as a Special Needs Leader. This essentially means that there is a student who needs a little extra attention. Reasons vary as much as people do. This particular student that I was a SNeed for was just a touch on the unusual side.


Quotes from him should paint the strongest picture.


So, for this blog, I propose that I just share some of his quotes.


To offset the evil I will scatter pictures from my week at outdoor school among his fabulous quotes.





My favorite ice-cream is bubblegum and rat poison.



I want a hell hound



Look at my first aid kit. It's got stickers of bloody knives and axes.

I took a picture of this, but it turned out all blurry, so I did not include it.





I want to be called Johnny, because I don't like my name…. and I like "Johnny The Homicidal Maniac"






There is hope. Not Everything that he said was scary and grim.


I hope we get to see a raccoon. Racoons are cute.


It is nice of you to take time off college to come out here and be with me.




Remember to punish and enslave.


If you really want to hurt someone you should bite their jugular.



Playing Chubby Bunny with grapes.

I want a puppy… with a rocket launcher on his back.


If I had to remake a movie with only kittens, I would do 300. That would be cool. A Spartan kitten with a spear.




My outdoors school name would be JTHM

--That would be inappropriate

Ah man, How'de you figure it out?



One of things I love about ODS, is we get to where Neon Goggles and smash things in front of teachers who are awed by Our Science

I don't know what a loon is, but I imagined it is a tinly little creature that looks like a human and has butterfly wings, and an adorable little face. Did I play the loon well? …. Because I imagine a loon as a hyper creature, and I am hyper, so I did an incredible job.


Stomach acid breaks down your food so when you upchuck it burns your throat.




The funnest thing is getting to fire an armed weapon.


I'm feeling sick… Video game sick. That's what happens when you separate someone from their god. It's my Zen.

That one was one of my favorites…"It's my Zen"




F……. U…C…K …………………. F……. U…C…K

--What?

Uh oh, I thought I was on my own planet….I mean…. Uh Sssssmarrrrt.


Finally! We get to destroy.




First everyone kills me with a flamethrower and then the Next Day they shoot me with a chain gun… I just want to open a hole to hell and ask Satan for a hell hound, so that I have a hellhound instead of a normal dog that tries to kill me.


RE: Tug of War: "I was sitting down. I was using my body fat."



The coolest thing about this place is that there was only one fire drill…. It rained a lot, but I guess that because mother nature loves Namanu, and want the trees to grow.




I don't want to leave this place.






A THANKS







Thank You to the Visitors
You remind us of the world outside of Outside





Thank You to the Teachers
You make for a nice break from the sixth graders




Thank You to the Student Leaders.
We cannot do this without you.